As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
