I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
only if we run a train.
done.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
