I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is wine microwaveable?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
