i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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