If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
