so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
