I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize