And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
