The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
