To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
