meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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