good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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