ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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