'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
