I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
