my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
