that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
