she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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