God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
