They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
