he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize