If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I am naked and annoyed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
