Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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