I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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