We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
why does every cop we meet know your name?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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