Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
