My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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