I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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