I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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