put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
