By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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