Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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