she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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