i just wanna soil my oats bro
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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