Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
