i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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