The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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