Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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