you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
