i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
