Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
