it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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