I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
