maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
