I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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