I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
