We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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