PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
