there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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