I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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