Will you blow on my dice?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
