Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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