I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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