Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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