Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
