their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
