What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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