I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
