Swine flu. Run for my life!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
