I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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