I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
