I think my vagina is haunted
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize