covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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