You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
