Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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